Whenever we hear the term “Sabr”, the word patience come to our mind. However, this one word patience can be really vague in its meaning in terms of how we understand it. Without comprehending what sabr actually refers to, sometimes we may think that being tolerant to all the abusive acts on us can be a great example of sabr. In fact, this is nothing but being tolerant to the injustice. When we remain silent and passive to all the injustice happening to us thinking that we are doing sabr, we are actually thinking wrong. We are doing nothing (great) but suppressing our emotions, which as a result, causes more harm to ourselves than healing us. Yesterday evening, I got to attend a talk by Yasmin Mogahed and in QA session, someone asked her what sabr actually refers to. She explained it so beautifully and elaborately that it also clarified my understanding of the concept of sabr. I also realized that is it very important to know the definitions and the proper applications of sabr when we try to practice it. So that it’s not a waste of time or energy, nor it’s harmful to ourselves. I’m going to write here what I learned about sabr.

There are 3 types of sabr:

  1. To be persevering, being consistent on doing something. For example, waking up for Tahajjud prayer in the middle of every night, or waking up for Fajr in every morning are acts of sabr.
  2. To refrain ourselves from all the temptations that are forbidden. For example: to lower our gaze, to avoid haram foods, or to be abstinent from food and water in the month of Ramadan are all acts of sabr.
  3. To not being angry at the will of Allah’s decree. We may grieve and shed tears at our loss or in a time of calamity, but we can never question the plan of Allah. We can not question why something bad needed to happen to us or why we are chosen for this bad fate. It means that we are doubting and not putting our trust in Allah’s decision. When things are not going well, or we lose someone or something that we love, that is the time we show how much we love and rely on Allah. That is the time we seek refuge in Allah by putting our complete trust in His plan. When we know and trust that Allah is in charge of everything happening to us, He is the one who loves and cares for us the most and He is the constant witness of what our heart is going through, we feel the utmost comfort. Our heart becomes calm and peaceful.

Regarding the last point, there’s often a misconception that when we grieve and cry at our bad times, it means we are not being patient. We think we are being depressed at what Allah has planned for us just because we express our sadness. That is not true at all. We can cry our hearts off as long as we don’t feel resentful at the will of Allah’s decree. In fact, instead of holding our emotions inside, we should let go of it to feel relieved to an extent. It is an innate emotion that Allah gave us so at times of calamity we feel sad, and tears shed from our eyes. It’s also recommended to turn to Allah in tears, as it demonstrates our emotional attachments to Allah and also our desperateness to have Allah’s mercy.

May 1st, ’17